Commando Dad

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A: Excuse me, is this seat free?

B: Yes, sure. Sit down. Ah he's lovely. Is he yours?

A: Yes, yes. He's a she actually. Miranda.

B: Three months?

A: Three and a half. How about yours?

B: Stephen. He's four months. Did you have a bad night?

A: Yes, Miranda was crying all night. You know, that noise gets to

you. It drives me mad.

B: Do you know what you need? These.

A: What are they? Earplugs?

B: Yes. Earplugs! When the baby starts crying, you just put these in. You can still hear the crying, but the noise isn't so bad and it's not so stressful.

A: That's a great idea! Who told you to do that?

B: It's all in this book I've read. You should get it.

A: Yeah? What's it called?

B: It's called Commando Dad. It was written by an ex-soldier. He was a commando in the army and it's especially for men with babies or small children. It's brilliant.

A: Really? So, what's so good about it?

B: Well, it's like a military manual. It tells you exactly what to do with a baby in any situation. It makes everything easier. There's a website too that you can go to - commandodad.com. It has lots of advice about looking after babies and small kids, and I really like the forums where men can write in with their problems, or their experiences.

A: What sort of things does it help you with?

B: All sorts of things. How to change nappies - he has a really good system- how to dress the baby, how to get the baby to sleep, the best way to feed the baby, how to know if the baby is ill. It's really useful and it's quite funny too,I mean he uses sort of military language, so, for example, he calls the baby a 'BT' which means a baby trooper, and the baby's bedroom is base camp, and taking the baby for a walk is maneuvers, and taking the nappies to the rubbish is called bomb disposal.

A: What else does it say?

B: Well, it's got all sorts of stuff about ...

A: And what does he think about men looking after children? Does he think we do it well?

B: He thinks that men are just as good as women at looking after children in almost everything.

A: Almost everything?
B: Yeah, he says the one time when women are better than men is when the kids are ill. Women sort of understand better what to do. They have an instinct... Oh. Now it's my turn. Right! I know exactly what that cry means. It means he's hungry.

A: Wow! What was that book called?